This group of posts are meant as inspiration and motivation for you to work on making your values and goals achievable. Sometimes we want something for ourselves, but we set the bar so high that we strive all our lives and never seem to be able to reach our goals. I don’t want to spend my life striving for something that I may reach when Im 80 when I can change the wording and enjoy reaching it everyday. I’ll tell you how.
When talking about happiness and fun, inevitably most people will think that it involves other people. Some may even claim that it is something that depends on other people. That you cannot feel or create or maintain happiness and fun in your life by yourself. I would like to challenge this view a bit.
Imagine the feeling when you put fresh flowers in a vase. Imagine the feeling when you prepare a lovely dinner, light a candle, set the table and enjoy every bite. Imagine how you feel when the sun kisses your skin and you take a deep breath of fresh air. I could continue endlessly with all the things that make me happy.
I agree that happiness often involves other people, but I think that the moment you depend on other people to make you happy you’ve missed the point. Or at least the point that I am trying to make here. You don’t have to agree with me, but I wouldn’t be writing this if I wasn’t convinced that I have some insight on this.
If you have read some of my previous posts, you know that I have been – and still am – challenged by PCS, long-term symptoms after a concussion I had 3 years ago. During my tough periods, I learned a lot about how to bring happiness and fun into my life on my own and enjoy life fully even though most of my days were spent alone. It is a practise like any other. You need to try and you need to fail many times before you truly master it. I remember how my dear, dear sister literally exploded during my ‘fake it till you make it‘ period. Thankfully, I have reached a point now where I don’t have to fake it anymore and where I can be authentic in living out this value.
What I have realised while working on bringing happiness and fun on top of the list is that when I take ownership of my own happiness and when I decide to engage in things I enjoy, it makes the practise much easier. I don’t sit around at home waiting for a call that can make me happy, or wait for a friend to buy me flowers. I make the call, because I want to make someone happy, I invite my friend for dinner or buy her flowers. For me, it is crucial that I can make myself happy first. I am the best person in the world to know what makes ME happy. I love to buy myself flowers, make myself a foot bath or make myself a lovely dinner. I consider it an extra bonus if someone joins me or if someone else buys me flowers. I will never expect it from anyone. Their mere presence is a gift in itself. It may sound like a thousand violins playing in the background, but having spent months on end alone in my apartment with very little energy to have guests, I am extremely grateful for every visitor I get.
I live my value Happiness and Fun whenever I do something to make myself or others happy, whenever I smile or laugh, whenever I fill my mind with good memories and fulfilling experiences and whenever I believe in myself.
Having happiness and fun as my value number 2 also means that I use it as a criteria in my decision making. I always ask myself if what I am doing or what I am deciding to do or spend time on makes me happy or will be fun. If not, it has to be life-saving important before I do it.
This focus has made me stop putting random work ahead of my dreams – or before a coffee with a friend. For me, it means deselecting frustration, anger, worry and a number of other negative emotions. This doesn’t mean that I disregard any negative emotion or that I don’t experience difficult situations. I just choose to view things differently and I avoid this type of situation as often as I can.
Happiness and fun is my priority. I do this for me..