Love banks, love tanks and being stressed and nice at the same time


Inspired by some interesting readings about love and balanced living and by my yoga instructor’s intelligent view of life.

A very complicated scientist I was forced to try to understand while I was studying said that people don’t contain knowledge and that knowledge is not knowledge until a person has managed to interact it. he is still very complicated and I am sure I already quoted him wrong.. However, the point is that I feel that i have learned something about life, about love and about being around other people in a positive way by reading these books and listening to my yoga instructor.

So… In this post, I will do my very best to inspire you to dig a little deeper and find your source of love or maybe understand why love is missing in your life..

Imagine yourself as a love bank. People deposit love and withdraw love from you. Your accounts can be very low from some people and very high from others depending on the amount of nice words, good deeds, presents and goodwill people have deposited in you.

Now, imagine the important people around you. Are some of them acting strange? Do they tend to get irritated with you easily or are some always doing you favors, helping you out etc.? Well, if the relationship to them is good, you have been keeping your account in them stabil or high – keep up the good work….! However, if the relationship is fragile, you may consider how often you express trust and confidence in them, how often you do them favors, let them wait for hours on you etc.

I have learned a lot from thinking this way. Sometimes, I am not even aware that I am withdrawing millions of love notes from someone and don’t really notice until he or she blows up like a small vulcano.

The vulcano scenario can happen for other reasons too. Imagine that each person is a love tank – kind of like the love banks, but always containing the same amount of love lava inside. When you are in a love connection with another person (not just as lovers, but sisters, friends or family counts here too), there is a small pipe connecting your love tanks and lets the love lava run from one tank to another.

if one person in the relationship is holding back anger or frustration and not telling the entire truth about it to the other one, this person is pushing down the lava in his or her own tanks and into the other person’s tank… Can you guess what happens then? YUP! If the other person cannot hold back the pressure from the other love tanks, it blows up!!

Holding back all the lava on both sides, makes the little pipe break and the relationship can be very hard to re-establish… I find this very interesting, because I never thought of it this way before. I have always been thinking that holding back feelings would only harm the person holding them back.

So……! What do I want you to do?????

Well, the solution is actually quite similar for both theories. It is all about expressing how you feel, telling the whole truth about your feelings. Doing something for others in order to deserve to get something back. Some people don’t even know why they feel angry, why they blow up. And this is where my fabulous yoga instructor comes in…..

In almost every class, she tells a story about balance. The balance between soft and hard, Shiva and Shakti, and action and stillness. Staying balanced is for her a combination of grownding yourself firmly into the ground in order to be able to give to others. One of the hardest things is to be stressed, but nice at the same time. Try playing with it a bit. When you have millions of things you need to do, you tend to focus and narrow in your mind on those things, forgetting to take your heart with you.

So, I guess the point of this post is that I want you to remember the love tanks and love banks in your daily life. At work, when you really need to reach a deadline, asking people to stay an hour more is a little easier if their banks are full and their lava is in balance. When you notice that you are running around stressed, take a few minutes and melt your heart. maybe you can actually be stressed and nice at the same time…..! 🙂

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