Fear is a choice, isn’t it?


I was inspired to write this post a few days after New Years Eve this year. I was walking down the street in my neighborhood, my yoga-mat on my back headed for a charity event when I heard a loud boom sound. I immediately understood that it was just somebody shooting off the last New Year’s fireworks somewhere nearby. It didn’t scare me at all and as I was walking to my destination I thought about how grateful I am to be able to choose to live somewhere where I don’t have to fear anything, really. Note the ‘I don’t have to’ which is critical in this sentence. 

This post could take so many turns, couldn’t it? I could choose to write about all the awful bombings around the world or dig into all the fear people living there must feel everyday. I could make it all about gratitude, which is getting very trendy these days – HOW AMAZING IS THAT?! However, I feel that the most appropriate and intriguing subject to talk about is our will to choose how we will let circumstances affect our lives and what it is that makes it so hard sometimes.

I think most of us have tried getting stuck on a thought or spend days thinking the same thing over and over again. These mind games often happen if the thoughts we think makes us worry or makes us feel sad, lonely, unworthy or guilty, but it actually happens with uplifting, positive, happy thoughts as well! We just rarely notice because it makes us feel wonderful, inspired and enthusiastic about what we are thinking about – and this feeling is natural to us.

The state of flow

This experience can be called ‘flow’ and others call it being tuned in or in balance or in alignment. Highly creative people can work for many hours in a row without even getting hungry or thirsty, because their mind is so focused and inspired. Flow is when the math report you were dreading doesn’t seem difficult at all and it feels like all the answers are lining up in your mind ready to be put on paper. Or when everything comes to you in perfect order – you hit all the green lights on your way to work, there is an empty spot for your bike just outside the door, someone bought you coffee to make you happy, all the things you need is on sale at the supermarket, and the entire day goes on like that.

The Law of Attraction

One very common way to explain this is a physics theory or law and it has been used proactively by amazing people like Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey, and Louise L. Hay. It is called the Law of Attraction. Just like there is a Law of Gravity making us fall to the surface of the Earth if we jump, the Law of Attraction makes equals attract each other on an energetic level. If two waves of energy are at the same frequency, they will connect. This is the reason why we can build houses and roads and this is also why we crave cake and sugar the day after we just had a small bite. And yup, it is the same with chocolate and coffee!

However, you might be wondering what this has to do with our will to choose and how all this talk about thoughts and chocolate cravings can impact how you let your fear control your life.

“Everything is energy and that is all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help, but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” – Albert Einstein

It may not be news to you that you are not just bones, muscles and skin. You have an intelligent mind – whatever that means – and a heart that beats on its own!! Incredible! And then there’s this thing called energy and what about emotions?!? What IS that? Whatever it might be, it is flowing through our bodies and minds all the time. Sometimes the energy is low, sometimes high. Sometimes we feel good, sometimes not so much.

I don’t know when exactly I started wondering about this. I know just about when it culminated for me and I know that before it did, I had been reacting to my circumstances over and over again and I had let other people’s energy and actions control my emotions. Even at times when they didn’t mean to. I didn’t know that I could decide not to react to anger with anger. I didn’t know that I had a choice not to let a sad or worried colleague’s mood drag me down and I didn’t yet understand that getting things done and reaching deadlines is much easier if the energy is good.

Start looking for things to enjoy

If I had kept reacting to my circumstances and if I hadn’t taken control and decided that I wanted to enjoy what was there to enjoy, I would most likely have been extremely depressed by now and unable to see my way out of my life as a ‘patient’. Fortunately, I realised that looking for things to enjoy, looking for beauty, looking for happiness made a shift in my energy. I started to feel better and it made me feel hopeful and grateful and I started actively changing negative situations into positives. I know that some people found it quite frustrating at times because I was so obsessed with the thought of being happy and positive all the time that I didn’t allow anyone to affect me negatively. But the matter of fact is that I managed to choose to feel better and feeling better made my symptoms fade away – most likely because the energy of the positive emotions align with a healthy body.

If you want to, you can start making links to your own life. Are there times when you seem to react and let situations, people or circumstances get you down or stress you out? Do you blame the weather or the shop assistant? Do you let your fears guide you and keep you from the life you want? Even if you do live in a place where bombs might fall from the sky when you leave the house, you can choose how you let it affect you. You don’t have to …. (enter whatever is appropriate)

Everything is just a process – Have fun with it

Don’t expect this to be something you can change in one day. Consider it a challenge and remember that it’s a process and you can have fun doing this. If someone is angry with you, let him be angry, but choose your response wisely. If you are afraid to face your boss and demand something, picture her sitting on the toilet.

I am no pro, but I do my best. I work on this everyday. I have amazing teachers pushing me to the limit in every class. If I reacted to all my students’ moods and emotions by mirroring them, boy would I be worn out!!! In stead I work on making them mirror me. Most often you get a smile in return when you send one. And if you smile more than once a day, it’s already doubled!

Have fun and find your flow….!

Leave a Reply